Reformed Baptist Church in O'Fallon, Missouri
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The Wheel: Fellowship Part IV

Sermon Transcript

The following is a lightly edited transcript generated from the audio; it may contain small errors.

Mutual Ministry

Let’s pray over the Word before we open it up. Father, we thank You for this opportunity to look into Your Word. We ask that You would teach us through Your Holy Spirit. We thank You for His presence here. We thank You, Lord, that You are here with us to minister to us, to build us up in the faith, to show us more about Yourself. Lord, teach us today. Give us humble hearts before You to hear what You have to say to us. We ask it, Lord, in Your name and for Your glory. Amen.

Open your Bibles to Romans 12. Romans 12, we looked at mainly verses 3 through 8 last week, and we talked about—we didn’t really dig deep into these verses, but we talked about some principles here, and that is that there’s only one body of Christ, but there are many members, and every member of the body of Christ has a calling and has a gift, at least one. Every member, and that’s the key phrase here, every member. Every member is important, every member is gifted, every member has a calling, and the day you were born again you were called into the ministry. So as you grow in Christ He begins to use you and show you how He wants to expand His kingdom and bring glory to His name through your ministry. And so He gives gifts to His people: the gift of ministry, the gift of teaching, the gift of exhortation, the gift of giving, the gift of leading, the gift of mercy. And this is not an exhaustive list. There are many, many gifts. We see them in 1 Corinthians 12, 1 Peter 4, and Ephesians 4 and other passages. Many gifts. We all have a gift, we all have a calling.

But then also we have—you might say, oh, I’m not sure what my gift is. I’m not sure what my calling is. But we all have ministry to one another, even apart from special giftedness. For example, you may not have a particular gift, and that means that in that area you’re probably not going to minister. But it doesn’t mean you don’t minister to the body of Christ. So that’s why Paul, after talking about specific gifts here in verses 3–8, he goes on in verses 9 through 16, he talks about what I just very simply referred to as mutual ministry or general ministry. Every Christian ought to be ministering to one another in the ways that are enumerated here in this passage. Regardless of your gift, regardless of your official calling, whether you have a title, whether you have a position, that’s all irrelevant. We can all minister to one another in the ways mentioned here. So let’s read verses 9 through 16. Paul says—by the way, I’m reading the New King James:

Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another; not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer; distributing to the needs of the saints, given to hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion.

(Romans 12:9–16)

This is one of those passages that have this phrase, especially in verse 10, to be kindly affectioned to one another, and then it says to give honor to one another. This phrase, “one another”—I was studying the Word the other day, and I looked up the “one anothers,” and there are at least, because I found 21 of them, there’s at least 21 passages which say that we’re supposed to do something to one another, or for one another. At least 21 of them. Things like pray for one another, encourage one another, exhort one another, comfort one another, edify one another, etc. So 21 of them. That’s what we call body life, or that’s what’s called community. If every member is doing the one anothers, then the body of Christ is being built up and edified in the Lord, because every member can do this. Every member.

I remember I was reading Ephesians as a young, young Christian, and Ephesians 4—I’m getting off topic by the way, just to let you know—Ephesians 4, Paul says, well here, let’s look at it, hold your place here, because we’re coming back to Romans, I promise, if I don’t drift too far afield, that is. Ephesians 4, and I was just reading the Word, you know, in my kind of daily thing. And in verse 29 it says of chapter 4, Ephesians 4:29, it says, “Let no corrupt or useless word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.” And I remember reading that and it’s like the Lord was—I mean this is before I was, you know, speaking in any public capacity. And I remember the Lord saying, your mouth, your words—and I don’t mean words from a platform. What you say to other people can be the vehicle for My grace. I mean, think about that. Your mouth becomes the vehicle for the grace of God. And I was struck with the weight of that. You know what I’m saying? In a good sense, the weight of the fact that God could use me, and I don’t mean on a platform, I just mean conversing with people, God could use my mouth to be the vehicle for His grace to His people. And I remember that changed the whole way that I looked at my interaction with people. Because from that point on, you know what I began to do? When I would get together with other people, whether I’m having lunch or I’m having dinner or I’m going to do something socially, I would always pray, Lord, if You want to impart something to them through me, then make me sensitive to that. And so what that did is it transformed my relationship to other Christians, and so therefore my relationship with other Christians, even as something as simple as coming over to watch a football game or hanging out, they became divine encounters. Because I knew that God at any moment could use me to impart something to one of His children that He loved. And vice versa, I could receive from someone. It’s an amazing thing how God uses us in this way. Anyway, that’s how I got off on that. The point is, that’s not formal. We’re not talking about formal ministry, relational ministry that every Christian has just by virtue of being part of the body of Christ.

Love One Another

So back to Romans 12. Paul says that in our ministry to one another, it is to be motivated and dominated, first of all, by love. Notice verses 9 and 10. He says, “Let love be without hypocrisy, abhor what is evil, and cling to what is good. Be kindly affectioned to one another with brotherly love.” So Jesus said in John 13—when you read John 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, that whole passage, you have to remember that’s His last, this is His last hurrah, okay? This is His departing words to His disciples. I mean, John 13, He said that the badge of discipleship, the mark of whether or not we were really Christians was what? Love, but love for one another. He said, “A new commandment I give unto you, that you love one another as I have loved you.” And I puzzled over the fact that He said “new,” because in the Old Testament God told us to love our neighbor. But I think the newness of the command is the fact that Jesus said, not just to love our neighbor, Jesus said to love our neighbor as He loved. As He loved. And He demonstrated that love shortly thereafter, because then He was taken, betrayed, and He was crucified for us. That’s what He meant when He said to love one another, as I have loved you, to the point of sacrifice. I’m a really nice guy when it doesn’t cost me anything. Do you know what I mean? Do you get what I’m saying? To love, as Jesus loved, means that we love sacrificially. That means we love when it hurts.

In light of the banquet last night that I referred to you, I was thinking about the passage in—I’m going to mess up here. I think it’s in the Gospels. The widow’s mite. You all know the story, right? Jesus is sitting in the temple and there are some real rich donors that come in and they throw lots of money in the treasury. And then this widow comes in and she throws in a mite or two. And Jesus tells the disciples, that’s the kind of giving, this is the kind of giving that I pay attention to. And it wasn’t the amount. It was the amount in relationship to her resources. In other words, you can give a penny, and if you’ve only got a penny, you’ve given everything you have. You can give a million dollars, but if you have a hundred million dollars, you’re not going to miss it. So, see, that’s what Jesus meant when He said to love as I have loved you, because at the heart of His love is this sacrificial element of laying down His life for us. In other words, His love cost Him something. And so, when we’re called to love one another, we’re called, as the recent book said, we’re called to do the hard things. We do the hard things because love does. Love as Jesus loved is sacrificial. So we are to love one another here. It says without hypocrisy, meaning it’s supposed to be genuine. It’s supposed to be real, not feigned, not plastic, real love. And it really is. And doing the hard thing, that’s the test of real love. But if you really love them, then you’re really willing to sacrifice for them.

And then he says that we should be kindly affectioned to one another with brotherly love. This word brotherly love is really the word for family affection, family love, the kind of warmth and acceptance that one has in a family. And that’s because as the church, the church is the family of God. Amen. We’re brothers and sisters because we have the same common Father. We have the same common Savior. So we’re all part of the house of God, the Word of God says, part of God’s family. All the people sitting in this room, they’re your brothers and sisters. And you’re thinking, yuck, really? Yeah, really. And so we should treat one another with that kind of warmth and affection. And it’s the idea of acceptance and embracing and the kind of—I can’t think of a better word than warmth, this idea that our love isn’t something sterile and cold and clinical, but that it’s sincere, it’s genuine, it’s warm. That’s what he’s talking about here. We minister to one another in love, but we also minister to one another respectfully.

Honor One Another

Notice here he says in verse 10, “in honor, giving preference to one another.” Now, some of your versions, I think the ESV says something like, outdo one another in giving honor or something of that nature. And this is an interesting verse because commentators, there’s a big debate about what Paul’s really saying, because of the way it’s written, it’s not exactly clear what’s really going on here. But the idea is clearly we should honor one another. Now in our society, we don’t do this real good, I don’t think. It’s not that important, at least anymore, the way it used to be. And in Jesus’ day, honor was very important. Remember the parables where He talks about, He says, don’t go into the feast and take the best seat, right? Lest you get called down, take the low seat, maybe you get called up. That’s all about honor. You know, the Pharisees, they pray and they want to blow a trumpet, they want honor. In this society, recognition and honor was very important. Paul is saying that we should, number one, we should honor one another. Not only honor one another, depending on how you translate that, he’s saying, literally this reads, take the lead in honoring one another. In other words, don’t wait till somebody honors you to honor them back. Don’t wait until somebody recognizes you, you go ahead and take the lead. You recognize other people.

Well how do you do that? Well you do that by gratitude, you do that by thankfulness, appreciation and things of that nature. So you know I appreciate all the hard work the worship team puts in for our church, don’t you? We should honor them right now, thank them for that. I mean I appreciate the guys in the back who do all the support there, you know they’re not on the stage, they’re not in the lights, but they’re here at 8:30, they’re here at 9. They’re working hard to get things ready so that you can experience God’s presence without distraction. Don’t you appreciate them? Show them honor. Jake’s clapping for himself back there. What’s that? Yeah, clapping for Ben. Ben’s clapping for you. Mutual admiration society back there. I like that. That’s good. We should honor our deacons. The deacons meet up here. The finance committee meets up here. There’s meetings going on. They’re taking care of business. It costs them hours. Yesterday, I came up here to the office and Mike and Tom were up here working on the roof. And then Tom worked on computers. All kinds of service behind the scenes, without recognition. I think we should thank our staff. I could go down the list of all the people that serve. We could acknowledge everybody that serves in the Master Plan or in the catechism classes or leads a life group or whatever. All of these kinds of things ought to be recognized, not only publicly, but in our interaction with one another.

You know, I’ve preached the Word a long time, and sometimes I’ve preached to the same people for a long time. And it’s astounding to me that there are some people that I’ve preached to for many, many years, and never once have they ever given me one word of affirmation. I think that’s astounding. I’m not asking you to rush up to my desk. I’ll get my token in today and I won’t feel bad. I’m not talking about me. I’m making a point. My point is that, and I think because maybe depending on your background, your family, I don’t know, maybe it’s true. But I’m not sure we do good at this, just in general in our society, of expressing appreciation, saying thank you for simple things. [audio unclear] really what we’re acknowledging. We’re seeing God, we’re seeing God’s gifts in them, we’re seeing Jesus Christ in them and we’re affirming them in that. And that’s vitally important in our ministry. And so we need to not just—don’t wait to be recognized. Don’t come up to me after church and you don’t have to affirm me, don’t. But we have to, but take the lead in it. Take the lead. Before you leave today, say thank you to somebody. Just say thank you.

Serve with Zeal and Prayer

Thirdly, our ministry should be—he says here in verse, that’s the point, I’m sorry. Thirdly, our ministry should be, in verse 11, he says here in verse 11, “not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord.” We should not only be serving, but we should be serving with zeal, and the old word is alacrity. You can look that up if you like. Eagerness, readiness, willingness, not having to have your arm twisted to get involved in ministry, but we should be willing and eager and ready to serve. And when we serve, we should serve in that way. When we use our gifts, when we minister, we should minister, he says, with diligence, fervent in spirit. Why? Because ultimately we’re serving the Lord. When we minister to His body, we’re ministering to Jesus. That’s the thing. We’re ministering to Jesus. We’re serving Jesus when we minister to His church. Because Jesus says that He is the Head, we are the body, so as you treat His members, you treat Him, right? So we’re serving the Lord, and therefore we should be earnest in our service to the Lord.

Fourthly, our ministry should be prayerful. Verse 12, “rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, and continuing steadfastly in prayer.” And I think Paul mentions prayer here not only because prayer is a part of our mutual ministry to one another—we need to be praying for one another—but also because prayer is one of the means by which we are enabled to continue on in ministry. Because as you serve and as you minister, guess what? You’re [audio unclear] In Galatians, it says, [audio unclear] I did my thing, and I see this with people who start to hit their mid-40s and maybe they hit 50, and you know, I did all that stuff when I was young and I was kind of a Jesus freak and I went on the streets and I did all this crazy stuff, but you know I’m older now so you know I’m just going to put it in neutral and yeah I just passed the baton. Let me tell you guys something, some of you guys and gals that are in that age range. Now, you’re more qualified than you’ve ever been for ministry. Because you have years of experience. Some of that experience are your own mistakes. And you learn from your mistakes and you gain wisdom from your mistakes. We have so much to impart to other people. It is not time to retire from the ministry. It is not time. It is time for you to get engaged in the ministry. It’s time for you now to use everything that God put in you for the past 40 or 50 or even 60 years and use it for the body of Christ.

There’s a reason that in the Bible, pastors are called elders. There’s a news article about the girl that ran away from home. She ran off to this church in a different state and ran away from home. She’s in her 20s and so she really is legally able to do what she wants. [audio unclear] And the news commentator kept on referring to the elders, and then she said, you know, they’re elders, but you know, they’re kind of young. In a passing comment. Now I’m not saying a man can’t be a pastor when he’s 25. Spurgeon was a pastor when he was 17. But the point is, is that as you get older, as you walk in the ways of the Lord, as you gain experience and knowledge that can only come with years, you now have a treasury. Are you hearing me? You have a treasury, you have a wealth that you can impart to others. That’s why it says in Titus 2, older women disciple the younger women. That’s what you’re supposed to be doing. Okay? Why? Because as an older woman, you have gained knowledge and experience. The problem with that verse from most women is they don’t want to put themselves in the class of the older woman, right? I was—I gotta tell you this story, this is hilarious. I’m in a restaurant the other day, and the waitress comes up, and then this guy that works at the restaurant came out with a guitar to sing happy birthday to the lady, you know, and try to get everybody in the restaurant to, you know? And he walks up and he says, hey everybody, it’s Christi’s 40th birthday. Oh yeah. Didn’t go over well with Christi. She looked at her husband and said, when we get home—we don’t want to say, I’m in that category. Well, you know what? Look in the mirror. You’re in that category. You have so much to give to younger women because of your experience and your knowledge and your years of walking with the Lord. You have a wealth to impart. I urge you to impart what God has put into you over the years. So I know as you get older you lose energy. You don’t feel like being as diligent. I understand that, trust me. God has gifted you and equipped you to give to others what He’s given to you. And I encourage you to do that and to do that fervently. I encourage you to pray about doing that. I encourage you to pray for the ability to do that, for the strength to do that. That’s why I think Paul throws prayer in here. Because in our ministry, if we’re not in prayer, we’re going to burn out. It happens all the time.

A Generous and Sympathetic Ministry

Paul also says that our ministry should be liberal. No, no. I don’t mean that liberal. Generous. He says here in verse 13, “distributing to the needs of the saints, and given to hospitality.” That word “given” here is interesting because it’s the same word that’s used here in the next verse where it says, “bless those who persecute you.” So the word “given” and the word “persecuted” are the same word. You’re like, what? Yeah. Because the root of the word means pursue. So if somebody’s pursuing you to hurt you, it’s called persecution, right? But if someone is pursuing you to bless you, that’s called hospitality. So when he says, be hospitable, he says, be given to it, pursue it, be aggressive, be assertive, and that’s a reflection of this idea of being diligent, of being steadfast, okay? Be fervent in spirit. Don’t just do it, but do it fervently. Pursue doing it. Be eager to do it. In 1 Peter we’re exhorted to be hospitable to one another without grumbling. Not only to do it, but to do it in the right spirit, and according to Paul here to do it eagerly, almost aggressively if you will.

Our ministry should be also sympathetic. He says here in verse 15, “Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.” This is the ministry of compassion, the ministry of mercy, and you don’t have to have the gift of mercy to do this. You just [audio unclear] So men do, like, okay, here’s what men do: after about ten seconds men got it all figured out. They know the answer, they give the answer and say, get on with it, what’s the problem. That’s pretty much how it is. Right? Men got the answer, women got the problem. Right guys? That’s the attitude. I’m not saying I believe that. Don’t misinterpret that one. That’s the attitude. And I’m the hero because I can fix it with my advice. You don’t fix broken hearts that way. Knowing the answer isn’t the same as being healed. [audio unclear] Sometimes people just need to know that you’re there. I had a conversation with [audio unclear] I’ll walk through this. Whatever happens to you, I’ll go with you. No answers, no pious platitudes, no “God’s in control,” all that stuff. Now, that may all be true, but, you know, his head knows that. His head knows that. But he was hurting, and what he needed is to know, not really that I was there, but he needed to know that Jesus was there. And I’m just a little bitty reflection of Jesus. But we’re all reflections of Jesus because we’re members of His body. I think that meant a lot to him. I hope it did. Be there for people. Not to solve their problem necessarily. Just be there for them. Be sensitive to them. Listen. Learn to listen. I encourage you to get a copy and read it. Parts of it you won’t get. Parts of it I read many times before I think I got it, finally. And I’ve read the book probably 20 years ago. I’ve read it many times. But he actually has a little section called “The Ministry of Listening.” And I love that. The ministry of listening. He gets it. But sometimes that’s all you need to do. And it’s just listen to the person. I’ve had a counseling session with people like, wow, that was really helpful, pastor. And I’m like, I didn’t say anything. I didn’t do anything. I didn’t impart any wisdom. Mainly what I did is I listened. And by listening, I communicated that I care.

A Ministry That Brings Unity

Seventhly, almost done, our ministry should bring unity. He says here in verse 16, “Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion.” Really, nothing brings [audio unclear] Do you understand what I’m saying? There is no situation that two people are facing, whether it’s a married couple or two other people. There’s no situation that God cannot bring healing and resolution so that there’s unity there. It just doesn’t exist. The problem is not the lack of resources with God. The problem is not God’s heart toward the situation. The problem is whether we put ourselves in the place of receiving His grace to deal with the situation, you see. And that’s why James and Peter both, quoting Proverbs, talk about God gives grace to the humble. We put ourselves in the place of receiving His grace. He can work miracles in our life, miracles in our marriage, miracles with our children, with our relationship with other people. He can do this. Amen? He can do this. His grace is available for us, but we have to have the right attitude. We need to have the attitude of receiving. So Paul exhorts us here to be of the same mind, that is, to be of the same mind. It doesn’t mean you can agree on everything, but the old phrase, you can agree to disagree. There’s a truth in that. The things you might not agree on, you don’t make a bone of contention. You don’t highlight what you disagree on, you highlight what you do agree on. You focus on where you have unity and you foster that unity by your attitude.

And then he says not to mind high things. You ever been in a conversation with somebody and it’s very obvious they think their opinion’s more important than yours? Ever had that experience? Raise your hand. And I mean, it’s real obvious. That’s what he’s talking about. Don’t do that, he’s saying. Value other people’s opinions as equal as your own. The Word even says, value other people more than yourself. Look at their interests above your own. Stop thinking you’re such a smart guy. Okay? And if you interact with them in a biblical way, they can actually come around to see things correctly. But if you basically insult them by expressing how superior your opinion is, you’ve won nothing. We do this in evangelism a lot, I think. We win the argument and lose the soul. You know what I’m saying? So we need to learn to win souls, to be a soul winner. It says in Proverbs, he that wins souls is wise. Not just he that preaches the gospel, but he that wins souls. Well, to win souls, you have to learn to be winsome. You have to learn to listen. You have to learn to interact in such a way that you’re not insulting people, even if you’re right. Even if you’re right. So as we minister to one another, we need to take the position of the servant. That’s kind of the heart of ministry, isn’t it? You’re the servant. You don’t minister because you’re superior, because you have the answers, because you’re better, or because you’re gifted. You minister because you’re a servant. Whatever we impart to [audio unclear]

We’re going to play instrumentally, and it’s going to give you an opportunity if you feel impressed by the Lord to pray for someone in the body. Just go over to them, pray with them, minister to them, encourage them any way you feel led by the Lord. Then after a brief ministry time, [audio unclear]

Closing Prayer

How fortunate we are that You would use us. Lord, just allow us to yield to be used by You in any way that You see fit. And we ask it in Your name. Amen.