Sermon Transcript
The following is a lightly edited transcript generated from the audio; it may contain small errors.
Hebrews 12
I get to hear stories like almost every day that babies were literally saved. It’s astounding. Women come into clinic and many of them come in not knowing Jesus. So I wanted to share out of Hebrews 12 where it talks about the Father’s training. And here in this passage, this is about God’s training of us as Christians. So even though I will be making some applications to parents, it’s really a message for all of us, because God deals with us, as it says here, as His children. And so there’s lessons for Christians, there’s lessons for Christian parents in this passage, and I try to pull a few of those out of this text. We’re going to read verses, 3 through 11. And there’s four things that I want us to see today. Four things. The first is the nature of God’s training or discipline discipline. Secondly, the foundation of his discipline. Thirdly, the reasonableness of his discipline. And then fourthly, the profit or the benefit of his discipline. And we will see these as we go through this passage. First, the nature of his discipline, verses 3 through 6. The apostle says, For consider him who endured such hostility from sinners against, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls. You have not resisted to bloodshed striving against sin. And you have forgotten the exhortation which speaks to you as to sons or children. My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by him, for whom the Lord loves, he chastens, and scourges or chastises every son whom he receives. If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons, for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? But if you are without chastisement, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons. Furthermore, we have had human Father who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of of spirits and live? For they, indeed, for a few days chastened us as it seemed best to them, but He for our prophet that we may be partakers of his holiness. Now, no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful. Amen.
Nevertheless, afterwards it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained or exercised by it.
Reproof
First thing we want to point out is the nature of God’s training of his children. And as I said, that’s in verses 12. five through six. The word that’s used here throughout this passage is the word paideia. You may have heard that word. Actually, where we get the word pediatrics. A word for children. This word paideia here actually means training. That’s all it means. It was originally used for training, the training of children, the education of children. And it was a comprehensive term. training in every aspect, whatever that might be. Training in the home, training in school, education in the most broadly conceived manner. And it includes two aspects here, which the Apostle refers to. Training in both word and training in deed. Okay, training in word and training in deed. Notice he points this out. He says in verse five, my son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord. The word chastening there is the word paideia, nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by him, rebuke or reproof. And this is the verbal aspect of training. Here we’re told that God corrects us by reproof or rebuke or by word, if you will. And this involves the idea of teaching or instruction. It involves the idea of admonition, and admonition is really just a big word for warning. A warning is when you attempt to show someone the relationship between their current behavior and the future outcome.
Their current behavior and the future outcome. And you say, if you continue in this path, here is the outcome, and that’s not a good outcome. You don’t want that outcome. That’s a warning. That’s an admonition. It is instructing not just in truth, but in the application of truth, in helping your children understand the relationship between actions and consequences. on the mobile unit unit. Women, men go out and freely do things sexually and lo and behold there’s a baby. What do you know? How did that happen? Because actions have consequences, right? You do, as the word of God says, you do reap what you sow. It is an axiom which is in the nature of the world. It’s the way things work. Now, this is one of those common sense things that we have forgotten, or we try to deny.
Because we live in the age of technology, and in a technological age, there is an attempt to manipulate reality to conform to desire. Anybody hear me? reality to conform to desire. Whereas in the old days, wisdom was considered conforming the soul to the nature of reality. So our whole world worldview is tilted in a direction to deny that actions have consequences. Because we think we can manipulate the consequences, that what naturally occurs based upon a course of action will be altered by our manipulation. So regarding what Diane shared and regarding this issue of abortion, abortion is simply that it is a manipulation to change the natural outcome of a particular activity.
But we can apply it to any area of life. Certain courses of action produce good fruit, certain courses of action produce bad fruit. And you know the definition of insanity, right? It’s doing the same thing over and over and over and expecting a different result.
That’s very simple, but we often do it. We all do it. If we want a certain outcome, we need a certain input. All you computer guys know that, right? If you want the code to work a certain way, you want the program to work a certain way, the code to work a certain way, you have to put the code in at the beginning or it’s not going to work.
So, when God reproves, He instructs, He admonishes, and He helps us to understand the relationship between actions and consequences.
And of course, this is what every good parent ought to do. They ought to instruct their children, and children understand that certain courses of action are profitable, beneficial, others are not.
And that certain courses of action will lead to unwholesome consequences.
The Rod
The second aspect of this paideia is act. The first is word, the second is deed or act.
Notice here in verse 6 it says, For whom the Lord loves he chastens and he scourges. This is in New King James. The ESV says chastises every son whom he accepts. This is a word which signifies corporal punishment, what today we would call the rod or spanking. Or some people like to use other corporal forms of punishment in the sense of a time out or a removal of a reward or something of that nature. But it’s not just verbal instruction and discipline, but it’s instruction that takes the form of an action of some kind. Both of these types of discipline are biblical, and they’re both needed. Because when you look in Scripture, it says, The rod and reproof give wisdom. I want you to pause for a moment and think about this. It doesn’t say the rod gives wisdom, and it doesn’t say reproof gives wisdom. It says the rod and reproof gives wisdom. As Christians, we need both forms of discipline. I wish that when I read the word, I just understood it and obeyed it, and I never needed to be trained in any other way, but it’s just not true. That’s not how life works. And so with our children, it’d be nice if every time we told them what to do and how to do something, they just did it. Anybody have a kid that always does it? Always. Don’t raise your hand. The ninth commandment is, thou shall not lie. So we need the corporal
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punishment, we need the rod if you will, because the rod helps to instill the reproof. They they go together. Both are biblical. However, it’s important to point this out. And that is that it’s possible, and this is for the parents, it is possible to apply the biblical discipline in an unbiblical way. I think you want to say amen. Let’s say it. Amen. Hear hear me now. You can employ a biblical method in an unbiblical way. What do I mean? Consider this matter of reproof, verbal correction. Verbal correction is not a license for yelling, shaming or verbally abusing your child. Angry words wound the spirit, but soft words are a tree of life. The truth is to be spoken, but the truth is to be spoken in love and not in anger or frustration.
Now hold your place here and go to Proverbs 15. The book of Proverbs is replete with text dealing with the mouth, the lips, and the tongue.
Here in Proverbs 15, verse 1, it says, A soft answer turns away wrath or anger, but harsh words stir up anger. Now think about this as a parent. It says harsh words stir up anger. If you speak harshly to your children, then you are stirring up anger in them. You hear me? That’s why in Ephesians, when it says, the fathers do not provoke your children, that word provoke literally means to irritate somebody to the point where they get angry. So then parents are like, why is my kid so angry? Well, maybe, just maybe. Okay, harsh words stir up anger. The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly. Not just uses knowledge, but it uses knowledge rightly. Okay? Knowledge isn’t enough. Truth isn’t enough. It must be used rightly. But the mouth of the fools pours forth foolishness. The eyes of the Lord are in every place, keeping watch on evil and on good. A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it, meaning in the tongue, breaks the spirit, meaning it breaks the spirit of the person that you’re talking to harshly. Okay? Now it’s it’s interesting that between verses 2 and 3, 1 and 2 have to do with the tongue or the mouth. Verse 4 has to do with the tongue. And right in the middle is verse 3, which says, God sees everything. And I don’t think that’s a coincidence. I think what the writer of Proverbs wants us to see is as he teaches us about the tongue, he’s saying, and the Lord sees what we are doing with our tongue. In every place, in our home, in our work, in our church, how we speak to others is being observed. And there’s a right way and a wrong way to talk to people. Anger is not the right way. And let me say this emphatically, so there’s no misunderstanding, because I believe in actually very conservative child rearing. But under no circumstances are parents to scream, yell, curse, degrade, insult, or shame their children. Say it loudly. Under no circumstances. Now regarding the corporal aspect of discipline, the rod is, but it is to be used in love and not in anger and most certainly not in frustration. It is designed to teach young children who are not yet able to reason. That’s the point of it. It is to be applied calmly and with complete self-control. control. Shall I say it again? The rod is to be used calmly and with complete self-control. Under no circumstances are parents to punch, slap, yank, shove, or beat their children.
Amen? Under no circumstances. That is not the rod. That is not God. It is not to be justified under the cover of God’s Word. If you have done any of these things to your children, then the Word of God calls you to repentance because you’ve sinned against them and you’ve sinned against your spouse. And the remedy for sin is repentance. It’s not time. It’s not forgetting. It’s repentance. So if you’ve done these things, any of these things, at any time to your children, then the Word of God consuls you to first acknowledge it to God, secondly to acknowledge it to your spouse, and then thirdly to acknowledge it to your child, and to ask for forgiveness from all three of them. If you’re parenting in anger, then you should get help immediately, or you will tear down your own house. Secondly, the basis of discipline, in back to Hebrews 12, the basis of discipline. Verses seven through eight, yeah, seven and eight. The basis of discipline here is a relationship of love. And I emphasize both words, relationship and love. But let’s talk about love first. Contrary to anger, God trains his children because he’s mad at them. Rather, he trains his children because he profoundly and deeply loves them. Hold your place here. Look at Proverbs 13. Proverbs 13. It says here in Pro Proverbs 13.24, He who spares the rod hates his son. But he who loves him, meaning he who loves his son, disciplines him properly. It’s interesting because from our point of view, sparing the rod, we think is an expression of love because we’re sparing our child the pain. But by sparing the pain, we spare the gain. And he’s saying true love, true love will discipline for the benefit and profit of the child.
So discipline is not a mark of anger, and when God disciplines us, it’s not because He
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But do not despise the chastening of the Lord, nor detest his correction. For whom the Lord loves, he corrects, just as a father, the Son, in whom he delights. My version says, delights. Yours may read differently. So God is not mad when he disciplines, but rather he loves us, and according to this translation he delights in us. He delights in us. The word literally means he receives or accepts us. And I want you to think about this for a minute. Because the idea here is that his discipline is not a sign of rejection. It’s a sign of acceptance. It’s not because he’s pushing you away, because he’s frustrated. He’s receiving you. He’s accepting you. And so his motive in his discipline of us as his children is one of love.
Discipline in Love
And of course, the same should be true of us as parents. Our children should feel in our discipline, not that we’re pushing them away because we’re frustrated with them and they’re bothering us, but rather that we are bringing them in to a closer relationship. It’s not only love, but it is love based on a relationship of the father and the child. Back in Hebrew 12, notice this. He says here in verse 7, if you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons, for what son is there whom a father does not chasten. But if you’re without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you’re illegitimate and not sons. In other words, the very notion of discipline is rooted in this father-child relationship.
I don’t have the authority to discipline your child. And you don’t have the authority to discipline mine. On what basis do I discipline my children? It’s the basis of that unique father-child relationship. And so, when God disciplines us it’s not a sign of rejection a sign of love, it’s a sign that we are members of his family. That he is our father and we are truly his son. And if we have no discipline, the writers say, hmm, maybe you’re not in the family. Because all partake of discipline. The parent-child relationship, and I’m
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them and give them our attention. Now this sounds very common-sensical, but in fact, relationships take time. And there’s one thing about our modern society is people are very, very busy, very busy, very scattered, very distracted, going in many different directions. And I do not believe in what is called quality time, not especially when Now, especially when children are very little, I believe that quantity time ends up equaling quality time. Because you can’t schedule those special moments that just happen. They just happen. And they’re magical. But they happen because you’re together and you’re sharing time, you’re paying attention, you’re relating. And let me just say this, especially to the dads. If you want to really train your kids, there’s a bridge. It’s an invisible bridge that your instruction has to go over to get from your heart to their heart. And that invisible bridge is the time and attention you pay your children. It’s called relationship. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve played tea party with my girls when they were little. Can you just see it? Can you see it? Tea party. Played with Dals, played with army men, played with Legos, on the floor. And I’m like, I really don’t care about anything I’m doing.
I care about the person that’s doing this with me. And so, what is important to them, and you know, when a child’s two, three, four, five, you know what, they’re not going to want to read theology. Darn. They’re not going to want to go hunting. Darn. So, what are you going to do? You’re going to do what they like to do. But I can testify that if you invest that time, you’re building a bridge, an invisible bridge. And as your children get older, you will now have a connection with them. So when they’re older and there are things that you want to know about and there are things of mutual interest and they’re being pulled away from your home, they’ll actually want to be with you. They’ll want to spend time with mom and dad because you’ve invested and you’ve built that invisible bridge.
The Reasonableness of Discipline
Alright, I’m taking too long. Two more quick points. The third is the reasonableness of discipline. This is in verses 9 and 10, really 7 through 10. But the point here is that what the apostle is saying is, Look, if you, as a Christian, are disciplined, don’t be surprised if God’s your father, you’re going to be disciplined. Why? Because that’s what parents do. That’s what fathers do. They’re supposed to discipline. So why in this, in this relationship would we think it wouldn’t apply? That’s really what he’s saying. So it’s reasonable to assume that God will act toward us as a father to his child since we are his child and since he is our father. That’s what fathers do. No discipline, no father-son relationship. But if there is a real relationship with God and you are truly part of his family, then what the author is telling us, then you will be disciplined. God will train you. And it’s a wonderful thing. When we hear the word discipline, we’re like, oh no, this This is a good thing. God is training us. Why is it a good thing? That leads to my fourth point. The prophet or the benefit of discipline in verses 9 and 10. He says in verse 10 and 11, verse 10, for they indeed for a few days they, meaning the earthly fathers, chastened us as it seemed good to them. But he, God, for our profit or benefit that we may be partakers of his holiness.
Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful. This is one of the things I love about the Bible. It’s so realistic. I mean, I’m so tired of preachers that on TV, who the whole time, they’re like this.
There’s never any pain in a Christian life. It’s always a blessing. Always. Always. Always. Okay. Okay. Discipline is painful. Otherwise, it wouldn’t be discipline. Right? You getting it? If your kids liked discipline, I’d be saying, maybe you need to reconsider your techniques. Okay? Of course it’s painful. It’s supposed to be. Nevertheless, it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness. fruit of righteousness to those who are trained by it, or as the King James says, those who were exercised, who have been exercised by it. There’s such a simple and beautiful, yet profound common sense in the scripture.
Of course discipline is going to be painful. It’s designed to be that way, but you look past the pain, right? Jesus in verses 1 and 2, Jesus looking past the cross, it says, He looked for the joy on the other side of the cross. So you look on the other side of the pain of the discipline. And this applies to us as Christians, but even as parents, because you know, I don’t I don’t want my kids to cry, I don’t want to, you know, if I spank them they’re going to cry, I don’t want to be sad, you know, I don’t want to do that, it’s hard to do, you know. You look past the pain. You look to the fruit, you look to the benefit. What is that benefit he says here? To be partakers of his holiness, or as he says in verse 11, we get the peaceable fruit of righteousness.
If parents want anything when their kids are little and if moms want anything when their kids are little their kids are little it’s peace Huh come on Right mom right you want peace This text is telling us how to get peace We get peace in our homes when we discipline consistently and faithfully according to God’s word That’s what the word says My home was in chaos when my firstborn was born, in chaos. I just can’t describe it enough. It was not a good place to be.
And a friend of mine came to me and said, you know what, you need to get on this discipline thing. I think my daughter was four years old. A friend, a faithful friend, reproved me and he was right. And I was convicted by the Holy Spirit and I received that reproof because the Bible says receiving reproof is wisdom. And I began to discipline consistently and the whole tenor of my home changed. Because you see, what had happened and I didn’t know it is that there was a little tyrant ruling my house. And it wasn’t a benevolent thing, it was a malevolent dictator? No. No, no, no, no, no velvet glove, this is just the Iron Fist, I mean it, okay. And what I conquered and subdued, not broke, but subdued the will through consistent and loving discipline, the whole spirit of my home changed. And we now had peace. It didn’t mean you didn’t have a rough day at times.
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And someone cared enough about me to reprove me, and by the grace of God I received it. Some of you folks need to hear the reproof of a friend, of a pastor, ultimately of the Word of God regarding your home. Listen to the Word. Listen to the Word. The Word is good, amen? It yields good fruit. God wants you, your home and your children to have this peaceable fruit of righteousness. And it’s a blessed thing. Properly applied paideia, don’t you love the alliteration there? Properly applied paideia will produce good fruit. It always does. Actions have consequences. Not bad fruit. They don’t make righteousness, not disobedience, holiness, not wickedness. But this application of this one, guess what? It takes time. It takes time. Notice here, and this is my concluding comment, the author says that it yields righteousness, in verse 11, to those who are trained by it. This literally is the word where we get our word gymnastics. It’s not a one time, oh, I’m going to go home today and I’m really going to lay it down. No, it is a lifestyle and it takes time to do this. You train your children over time. So you have to learn to be consistent and you need to learn to be long suffering and you need to learn to be patient as parents. Just the way God is with us. Just the way He is with us. He trains us, but He does it over time, and He does it faithfully, and He does it consistently. I have much more to say, but I’m out of time.
Closing Prayer
So I’m going to pray, and we’re going to have the Vexos and Kesserings come forward. Father, we thank You for Your Word. You are so good to us to give us Your Word, and You are so good to us to discipline us. We thank You for Your training. We thank You that we’re sons and daughters. We thank you that you care enough to intervene in our lives. We thank you that you care enough to reprove us, to convict us. And Lord, I ask that today, just as your children, we would just ponder what it means to be your child. to really ponder how fortunate we are that we have a loving father. And I also pray Lord for the parents here, myself included and my wife, that we would truly hear your word, that we would strive by the power of your Holy Spirit to apply your word in our homes, not for our sakes, but Lord for your glory. And we pray these things in Jesus’s name, amen.